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Story of a Teacup August 10, 2009

Posted by Rachael in Uncategorized.
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Many stories begin with “Once Upon a Time”, this story does not. Unlike many other stories, this one did not happen once upon a time, it occurs, everyday, in every city, in every state, in every country, and has happened for as long as most of us can remember.

Franklin had a teacup, this was not just any teacup this was his favorite teacup. Franklin loved everything about this teacup, especially the way the handle curved down to reach the base. From the first time he saw this teacup he knew it was his favorite. Like most people, Franklin had drunk from other teacups, but this one was special.

Everyone knows that sometimes we drop out favorite teacups, sometimes they bounce and are unharmed and sometimes they may chip and crack. Over the years Franklin’s teacup had developed ordinary chips and cracks but was still a fantastic cup. It still looked great and held any beverage that Franklin chose to drink.

One day, Franklin, frustrated with life decided to take his frustration out on his favorite teacup. Franklin threw his cup across the room and it broke in several places. Immediately he understood the mistake he had made and gathered the pieces and glued it back together. Franklin quickly filled the cup with tea to make sure it was ok. The cup was mostly ok, it looked a little worn and appeared to still hold tea. Franklin noticed a small leak and he swore to never again toss his favorite cup.

Over time Franklin began to resent his cup for its leak and put it up on a shelf. Franklin still needed his tea so he would being to use other tea cups, as the leaky one would simply not do.

After some time had passed, Franklin missed his favorite teacup. He took it down off the shelf, dusted it off, and used it once more. Franklin declared this cup was still his favorite despite it’s leak. It was not long before the leak grew irritating and he began to blame the cup for being old and worn.

Once again Franklin grew irritated with life and on top of it his favorite teacup was leaky! Forgetting his promise he tossed the cup again. This time the cup shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces. Franklin was angry at his cup for breaking again and left it there in many pieces.

The teacup had friends who saw it there in pieces and picked it up and glued it back together. The teacup was once again whole, some pieces were missing, and it would never again hold liquid of any kind.

Franklin saw his cup was whole again and once again remembered how it was his favorite. He tried to fill it with tea. The teacup would no longer hold tea. Franklin tried to fill it with water, it would not hold water. Franklin tried to show his teacup that he could treat other teacups with care, but the teacup still refused to hold liquid.

After a few months of attempting to use his teacup, Franklin realized that his favorite cup could not longer hold liquid no matter what he did and was no longer usable as a teacup.

So now this cup sits on a shelf, chipped, broken, and hardly resembling a teacup at all. This cup will never again hold tea or any other liquid.

If you have a favorite teacup, please treat it with care and respect. Sometimes chips and cracks are unavoidable but it is never ok to take out your frustrations on it. You can only glue a teacup back together so many times before it will no longer be your teacup.

Movie Rant January 24, 2009

Posted by Rachael in Uncategorized.
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Most movie critics are lame. I mean these people only seem to like movies that are BORING and/or depressing as hell. Depressing movies can be good, have a strong story, and great acting but they are still depressing. I don’t know about the rest of the world but I am tired of depressing movies. Yes the world sucks, but I want my entertainment to be better then the real world. Why the hell do people WANT their entertainment to be depressing?!

There are two main types of movie goers. One is the Oscar snob, they only watch what the critics like and the other group consists of the people that actually bring the studios money.

Most of the world will eat boring bland food if enough people tell them it is good for them, but what we want is TASTEY food and we don’t care if it has no nutritional value or if it is bad for us. The same thing applies to movies. Oscar worthy movies are usually the whole grain cardboard products people tell you to eat.

I know many people to claim boring movies are good because the star, director, or what ever has won some award. These same people use their children and/or friends as a reason to go see the movies they really want to see. You watch them in the theatre and they laugh and smilewith everyone else then come out saying …. ‘Tsk Tsk Buffy, that action was sooooooooooooo unrealistic’ or ‘That person’s performance was sooooooo weak’. I have a few things to say to you people:

  1. Movies are not real, thus all movies are unrealistic.
  2. Who are you to judge if someone performance was weak? Did you study theatre? I mean other then being friends with someone who was in drama in high school?
  3. Stop pretending that watching indie movies makes you sophisticated.
  4. You probably liked Episode 3 didn’t you?
  5. Lean to have a little fun in your life and perhaps you would not need to tear apart things that are intended to entertain. I myself do not like slap stick, so I just don’t watch it. There is no reason for me to tear it apart.
  6. When you talk all I hear is ‘BAHHHHHHHHHHHH BAHHHHHHH’, stop being a sheep and think for yourself.
  7. A famous award wining actor does not a good movie make *cough..Gran Torino*.

*SNORT*

</rant>

Cthulhu fhtagn January 17, 2009

Posted by Rachael in Uncategorized.
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Everyone knows I am a little bit insane. One recent outtake of my insanity amuses me lots. My mom got me this super cute ‘Kit Kat Klock’ for my birthday, and It makes this tickWOOSHtock noise. My brain has decided to translate this sound into ‘cephalopod cephalopod cephalopod cephalopod’.Why, I wonder did my brain select cephalopod, why not squid, octopus, or cuttlefish?

I have a few ideas as to why I have cephalopod on the brain:

  • I could be infected by squid like aliens.
  • The unicorn did it.
  • I am an Oracle to the Elder Gods.
  • I am KrakenKin.
  • I have been reading too many damn books about the ocean.
  • I should blame Freud.
  • The universe thinks I need more arms. (I would get my applications done a lot faster if this were the case.)

One of these is the most likely, however I think I may be an Oracle to the Elder Gods. Now bow to me and pray that the great Cthulhu doesn’t eat you first!

Dear Bicyclists, December 21, 2008

Posted by Rachael in Uncategorized.
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While I realize you feel entitled and special this does not give you the right to ignore existing road rules. Excuse me not rules, LAWS!

Just a few I would like to point out.

  • Red lights mean stop. Not go if you feel like it, not go if no one is looking, not go because you are not in a car, not stop only if no one is unlikely to run your pants on head retarded ass over, etc. This is a LAW. Red means stop, and incase you don’t understand what that means….stopping requires your wheels to cease movement. After you stop you must remained stopped until the light in question has turned green.
  • Hand signals fuckers, USE THEM.
    handsignals2
    Now you will see there is no signal for jumping off the sidewalk in front of a motor vehicle, and then screaming at them about sharing the road when they hold the horn down and scream at you. You may also notice that I DID
    kid-middle-finger1
    have the common courtesy to use a hand signal to inform you I was going scream profanity and throw glass bottles at your head, I am a better person then you.
  • While you may have the right to use the road, the law states that you must ride as far to the right of the lane as possible. This means that you do not ride in the center of the lane unless you are avoiding a hazard, cat, or crack head. Yes in some cases it is ok to ride in the center of the lane again the law here is pretty clear. You may ride in the center of the lane when you are moving at the same speed as the motor traffic. Notice it does not state “You may ride in the center of the lane when you are going uphill and need to wobble all over the place.”
  • Lane splitting is illegal. This includes riding with your buddies 2 or more abreast. Also riding with your buddies 2 or more abreast is fucking stupid, or maybe you are hoping that your buddy on the outside gets hit first. This must be the “I don’t have to outrun the zombies/bear/yak/police, I just have to run faster then everyone else.”

Fine you have a right to be on the road, I am fine with that. DO NOT bitch at me about your rights being the same as mine while ignoring all the LAWS that apply to you because you have two wheels and not four. Stupid yuppie bastards

Yeah I am infact on medication. September 15, 2008

Posted by Rachael in Uncategorized.
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This morning I decided that Google is God, to illustrate I have compared Google to various attributes usually attributed to God. 🙂 Enjoy my insanity.

Google is Free:
There is an absence of any constraints or limitations on Google whenever Google acts. Also Google is complimentary. 🙂

Google is Eternal:
Google is commonly portrayed as being eternal; however, there is more than one way to understand the concept of “eternal.” Google is valid or existing at all times (currently). So with this definition of eternal, Google is Eternal

Google is Creator:
For example Google “Google creates”

Google is Omnipotent:
Unfortunately, the most absolute sense of omnipotent has been found to be incoherent. If Google were truly omnipotent in an absolute and unlimited sense, then Google could be capable of both existing and not existing at the same time. However…..
If the question is can Google do x the answer is usually yes. Google can do anything Google chooses to do and is logically capable of doing. Most importantly Google has virtually unlimited influence.

Google is Omnibenevolent:
Google is perfect (morally).

Google is Incorporeal:
Google has no physical body or substance.

Google is all knowing (or omniscient..) go on just ask it.